Critiqing Lethe Bashar

Lethe Bashar recently asked me to review his sites. (Well... using a loose definition of "recently" that is). For now, I'll be critiquing layout and readability and not the actual writing.

Lethe,
Here are the notes I made when looking at and reading your sites. First, I'll start with the spain blog fiction, Lethe Bashar in Spain.

Looking at the sidebar, the "Share!" and "Subscribe!" bars include all of the social network options. Why specifically add Digg, Technorati, and Del.icio.us? Use the bars or don't use them and you can clean up some more clutter. Also, I think the StumbleUpon picture is plenty, I don't think you need the text link right after it.

No reason for the "site meter" to be in the sidebar is there? I would put it on the bottom. Speaking of the bottom, your blogrush box looks kind of funny down there. You may want to get the "skinny" version and put it in your sidebar.

I like the novel link at the top. I also like the "about me" introducing yourself and your project. Why did you get rid of it?

It of course makes sense to have a list of links to your other sites, but you may want to really differentiate the one to the Vegas, and "History of Lethe" sites since it's part of the same story\universe. Speaking of the Vegas site, I don't think there is a reason to have a feed from your Vegas site. I can't think of a "use case" for it. If someone is savvy enough to check one site for updates, they'll probably check the other one. Or, better yet, will probably have subscribed to both of them already. "The Philosopher's Tidbit" feed makes sense since an article title might grab some reader's attention.

Actually, speaking of links, all of that text seems really tiny to me. Are you creating this on a 800x600 res monitor? Maybe my eyes are getting old. I'll have to ask someone else to chime in with their opinion. In the same manner, what font are you using? Either the font seems hard to read or the background makes it harder to read. I'll also ask if anyone else is having that problem.

I like the navigational layout of this specific blog. Easy access to archives, next\previous post on individual posts. All of that deserves mass kudos.

Next is the Vegas part of your blog fiction.
I don't really have any new criticisms for this one. I like the layout a lot more. I'll just repeat some of the points from the Spain blog.

• Probably don't need the Spain blog feed
• Again, I think the link text is hard to read, but the content text is easier to read - so maybe it is the background color that makes the Spain blog hard to read
• Differentiate the Story blogs from your "other" sites.
• This one is also easy to navigate.

For both of them, I would make this link a lot more pronounced. http://www.behance.net/Gallery/Lethe-Bashars-Novel-of-Life/91955. Especially, if you aren't going to include a brief explanation\intro in each of your sidebars. I read about 6 or 7 posts in both of the spain and vegas blogs and still wasn't sure which one, chronologically, came first. It wasn't until I found that page that I figured it out and found on that there was another prequel to the stories. Making clear which comes first can matter to readers, especially new ones.

So those are my critiques for Lethe's sites. I hope they were all constructive. Does anyone have any other constructive critique's for Lethe?

Wilf is back

I'm still catching up on last months news. Wilf's world is back from it's hiatus. He was back right on May 1st just as he promised. I'm glad to see he's back. I'd rather he would've came back as a published author, but he doesn't appear to be looking back, so we shouldn't either.

Here's to you Wilf, and the book deal you'll eventually get. I've added Wilf's world back to the sidebar.

Exhibit 'A' in examples of not working together

The story below has been floating around the internet for the better part of a decade now. It's about two, twelfth grade English class students who failed miserably at writing a "tandem story". That is, a story where each take turns writing a paragraph of a story. By the way, snopes indicates that this really did happen, according to a Toronto newspaper. It should be noted that this is just one of several very slight variants. Here was the assignment:

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.

Here is the, now legendary, paper that Gary and Rebecca (not known if that's their real names) turned in.

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth — when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

You total $*&.

Stupid %&#$!.

I don't know about you, but I love this story. A lot of people try to use this as some kind of illustration of the difference between men and women by giving it titles like, "Men are from Mars, women are from Soap Opera Land" or just "Men Vs. Women" Really, though, it's just an example of "Not working together".

Both of the authors got an idea of the kind of story they wanted to write and wouldn't give an inch. If you're writing a cooperative blog fiction, don't get to wedded to an idea. If somebody goes another direction you have to follow. It's the risk you run by participating in a cooperative story. Oh yeah, and don't insult your fellow authors!

Still at it.

Note. Sorry I haven't been around much. I suppose I'm still trying to learn how to balance everything I want to do with what I actually have time to do. Don't worry, this blog isn't going away. I have too much fun with it - especially when I have the time. I did however close down my own blog fiction, Terran Resistance, until further notice to try and free up more time. Thanks for reading.

Bad News Double Whammy for Blog Fiction Readers

This news is pretty old, but I've been out of the loop for a while.

Just when we were all getting ready to settle in with Wilf's first book, we find out his publisher has just gone out of business.

The slightly droopy news is that, The Friday Project has stopped being a publisher because it ran out of money. Even droopier news is that the money ran out before, 'Wilf's World' was made into a book.

I'm not sure of his plans or how this affects his timeline of when he'll be back or have a book published. I guess my eyes will have to get used to the computer screen if I'm ever going to read his entire blogposts.

Also, it appears that the very popular site Anonymous Lawyer has been hit with a bout of writer's block.

I wish I had more to say as this guy right now, and I keep hoping I can force it, and throw posts up there hoping it'll spur me to get back into the groove and hit some well for this character that I haven't yet explored. Obviously the biggest part of it is that I'm not working at a law firm, and so I'm not being hit with the ideas and inspiration I'd get if I were really living in Anonymous Lawyer's world. That's not an excuse, it's just an explanation. There will be more that I have to say as this guy, I'm sure of it, and hopefully some of you will enjoy reading it. It just hasn't been there while I've been working on some other writing projects, and it's been long enough thinking in this character's voice that maybe I've needed a bit of a break from it.

For a while very little was getting posted over there. Unfortunately this made some of his most loyal fans more than a little antsy.( see comments here and here for examples). I can empathize with both sides. As you can tell, it's launched a mini-controversy among his readership.

On the reader side, I do hate it when a blog or website I love goes AWOL. I hate not knowing whether or not a blog is active or not. As I've written before a writer should announce to his or her readers if there's going to be a temporary shutdown.

On the other side, I've now been blogging in some form or another for a year, I admit that life and writer's block happens. While a writer should let their readers know what's going on, this means that the writer has to face the fact that they can't do something that they love doing. That can be hard.

Ultimately, I think it falls on the writers of a website to let their readers know what's going on, but, I don't think asking for some understanding from your readers is too much to ask for either.

10 Sided: Dissecting a Disaster Part VI (The Good Stuff)

This is now my sixth post in the Dissecting a Disaster series. Follow the link for the beginning.

I saved the best for last. Not everything in Ten Sided was a total disaster. This can be seen in the romance that developed between the writer of Smooth Blue, Toni , and the writer of J-Meister, Jez. Their stories are so intertwined that you can't talk about one without talking about the other.

At the beginning of the story, Jez starts out as the typical gliding through life bachelor who's looking for something more. Toni is also seems unsatisfied with life. Presumably that's what led her to her online gambling habit and eventual decision to runaway away with Jez - but I get ahead of myself.

The J-Meister blog starts out kind of funny. It definitely sets the tone that Jez does not understand blogging. He goes on to a couple posts that make it sound like he belongs with the house arrest blogs, with all his hallecunation of blue women (obviously, a reference to another Ten-Sided blog).

Meanwhile, Toni is introduced to us as a lonely, timed woman who uses the internet to reach out to get away from her life.

During the first 3 weeks both blogs stay pretty isolated with only fleeting references to the other people in Ten-Sided. However, April, the two blogs start getting intertwined into a story that's not only readable, but enjoyable.

Everything started with a seemingly through away comment by Jez back in mid-march.

Oh and another thing Tim. Next time you mention that nurse from Manchester I met at Martin's party and how I might have been married to her by now if I hadn't lost her phone number I really am going to hit you.

April 2nd things get interesting when Toni makes a direct reference to Jez.

Then I met this guy at a party. Jez his name. He was a right laugh and I thought we’d make a great couple. When he said he’d call me I believed him and, like a fool, I sat in waiting for the phone to ring. But it didn’t.

And again on the fourth:

Back home I thought I’d try ringing Jez to cheer me up. He was out but his mother was in. That woman certainly can talk. She went on and on and on about nothing in particular. Not only that, I forgot to leave my number and I’m definitely not going to risk calling again. Couldn’t face going through that again.

By the next day, Jez decided to respond.

she mentioned something about a lovely chat she'd had with a friend of mine on the phone, and why couldn't I be more like that - a bit more human (yawn yawn). I asked her who she meant ( I knew it couldn;t be Tim) and she said it was a nice sounding girl, who said she was a nurse or something. God, my stomach lurched then. What was her name? Did she leave her number? What did she say? Of course, my bloody mother couldn't tell my anything useful - no number, no name. She'd been too busy telling the poor girl about her latest trip.

From there, Brim took on the role of matchmaker. Each of the characters had already connected with Brim, so Brim "connected" the two of them together. This partially happened through comments and blog posts.

From there, the two of them go on to a long, complicated romance. If these two blogs were pulled out of Ten-Sided and stood alone, I'd call the project a delight. I won't give away the ending. Some of you may enjoy reading the rest (though to warn you, it does get a little weird for a couple weeks of posts).

To conclude the lesson here is how these two authors connected. One referenced the other to offer an opening for a connection(Jez talks about Mandy). The other then made a very strong attempt to connect with the other(Calls Jez's Mother). Jez and Brim take it. Jez and Mandy (AKA Toni) go on to tell the story of a romance from both viewpoints. That's definitely a lesson that a group blog fiction could learn from.

Super Hero Invasion

I guess it's super hero week this week. Yesterday I posted about the batman marketers. Today is a follow up to the Super Hero blogs I talked about a while ago.

The characters all exist in the same "world". Each of the blogs references the other 4. Sometimes the characters will even comment on each other's blog. All of the 5 characters have their own Blogger account. So I don't know if it's 5 people on each blog or if it's 1 person writing all of it on 5 accounts.

Well, I've been visited by the authors and, as it turns out, there is one writer for each blog. That's awesome. Currently, That makes it the only [update:] one of a few(see these two related blogs) still running Blog Fiction that uses the Many to Many format. On top of that it's one of the first successful Blog Fictions that's written by more than one person.

Super Hero characters dominated the Golden Age of comic books and is what made earned them a permanent ficture in our popular culture. It would be an interesting historical coincidence if it was Super Hero characters that helped launch the Blog Fiction genre.

Anyways, if you haven't already, go check out the blogs. I haven't listed them in the sidebar yet, because I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to arrange their feeds.
Leroy J. Power
Terra Stone aka Elemental
The Enigma Known As Brice
Mr. E. aka weird Wellington "Edwin" Mallard

New Batman Movie Promotion

The people who's job it is to promote the upcoming Batman movie, The Dark Night, are trying their hand at some viral marketing. They have put up a sample of a Gotham newspaper, The Gotham Times. There's a mock campaign website for Harvey Dent for District Attorney. Finally, the website I find most interesting is the mock "drudge report" style blog, the Maiden Avenue Report.

Normally I find these types of marketing campaigns to be boring and pointless. (see Cloverfield) However, I really like this one. Without seeing the movie I'm not sure how much information we're being given that we won't find out in the movie. That being said, there's no way we'd have the level of detail we're being given in those sites.

The newspaper, blog, and campaign sites are giving us almost a play by play of how Harvey Dent gets to be a District Attorney. Based on summaries of the movie and my knowledge of Harvey Dent, I'm guessing that he'll already be D.A. once the opening credits are done. That would mean that we're really seeing story and background revealed. To me that makes it more than simple marketing\advertising and crosses into story telling on the web -which I find cool and interesting because I think that it would qualify as a commercial Blog Fiction.