NaNoWriMo Sucks

That's right. I said it. NaNoWriMo sucks and I mean it. So what has NaNoWriMo done to draw my ire you ask? Well, what hasn't it done? It sucks up the time of talented writers, I don't see how it accomplishes the sponsor organization's goal, and it's acronym is incredibly difficult to type.

After spending a paragraph bashing the thing, let me slow down and explain what NaNoWriMo is. For those who don't know, NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month. It is an imaginary competition where all the entrants try to write a 50,000 word novel in 1 month. If you do that, you win the imaginary prize. If you think it sounds silly, I swear I'm not making it up.

The way to win NaNoWriMo is by writing 50,000 words by midnight on November 30. Every year, there are many, many winners. There are no "Best Novel" or "Quickest-Written Novel" awards given out. All winners will get an official "Winner" web badge and a PDF Winner's Certificate.

The purpose of NaNoWriMo is to get people to write. Just write something.

NaNoWriMo is all about the magical power of deadlines. Give someone a goal and a goal-minded community and miracles are bound to happen. Pies will be eaten at amazing rates. Alfalfa will be harvested like never before. And novels will be written in a month.

Part of the reason we organize NaNoWriMo is just to get a book written. We love the fringe benefits accrued to novelists. For one month out of the year, we can stew and storm, and make a huge mess of our apartments and drink lots of coffee at odd hours. And we can do all of these things loudly, in front of people. As satisfying as it is to reach deep within yourself and pull out an unexpectedly passable work of art, it is equally (if not more) satisfying to be able to dramatize the process at social gatherings.

So getting back to my issues with the competition. The most annoying thing is the distraction it becomes for my favorite writers. Every year this dreaded contest draws the attention of my favorite bloggers to NaNoWriMo and away from their blogs. I enjoy their blogs, and I don't enjoy 50,000 word novels that are hastily thrown together in less than 5 weeks. On top of taking away my favorite high quality reading lists, I don't think NaNoWriMo helps those writers much either. The purpose of NanoWriMo is to get people to write, but bloggers already write on a regular basis. So why are bloggers shutting down one writing operation to open up another writing operation. Each about as useful as the other in terms of improving writing skills. I just don't get it.

If someone were to defend NaNoWriMo, I suppose they would say that it encourages writers to write and finish their novels. This is where I start questioning the whole premise of the competition. Really? A writer needs to be encouraged to write his or her story? Anyone who needs an imaginary competition to start writing may want to consider another line of business. Most writer's I know have a story inside of them just aching to be told. They have to write it. They can't not write it. You'd have to pull the pen from their cold dead fingers before they'd stop.

That kind of tenacity to write is needed because writing the novel is just the first step. You now have the hours of self editing and rewriting to go through. Then the professional editing comes. Then the marketing of your book. You have all those inquiry letters to write and rejection notices to read. So, if a writer has to be encouraged to do the first step - The fun one - what are the chances they'll ever get around to the rest of the steps?

Finally, I want to reiterate what I said before. NaNoWriMo is a pain in the butt to type. I'm serious. Try and type it 3 times in a row. It's hard. Map it out. Here's the button combination to properly write NaNoWriMo on a qwerty keyboard.

1. Hold left Shift
2. (N) Right Index,
   
3. Let go of left shit
4. (a) left pinky
   
5. Hold Left Shift
6. (N) Right Index
7. let go of left shift
8. (o)Right Ring
9. Hold Right shift
10. (W)Left Ring
11. let go of shift
12. (r) right index
13. (i) left middle
14. Hold Left Shift
15. (M) right index
16. let go of shift
17. (o) right ring

Wow! 17 steps just to write their *abbreviation*. You also are alternating shift buttons between hands. That is incredibly awkward. I know it seems like a petty thing to complain about, but they should've known better. When you're a online writing competition, you would think you'd make it easy for online writers to talk about you.

Oh yeah, and one more thing about their name. It's not even accurate. The National Novel Writing Month is actually an international event. So it should be InNoWriMo. Which actually is slightly easier to type since your left pinky doesn't have to leave the shift key between typing the 'I' and the 'N'.

Now, not everything about NaNoWriMo is bad. Some authors enjoy the intensity of trying to write a first draft in a month. Other's also like the interaction with other author's in middle of writing a novel. So why not make those tools available all year round? Let author's register the day they start and then give them 30 days to finish. They then can intereact with other author's who are writing all year long. Nobody has to wait for November anymore.

Here's way to improve it. I do not believe that the problem with the modern publishing industry has anything to do with the lack of crappy novels being pushed out. If anything, it's the lack of people reading good novels. Competing with movies, video games, and comic books is hard. However, if you can get a person to read that one book that they really like, you can turn that person into a life long bookworm. I say we need a competition that increases and encourages readers, not writers. Put in crass economic terms, we need to increase demand, not supply.

Here's my idea for a new yearly competition. Instead of challenging people to write 50,000 crappy words, challenge them to read 500 pages of any novel or novels they so choose. Add in some rules. For instance, if you're reading a paperback you have to read 2 pages to count as 1 hard cover page. This competition virtually guarantees that all participants who "win" would have to read at least 1 novel and maybe part of another. Now how sweet would that be? Readers can share what books they read. Part of the requirements for "winning" could be that you have to write a 250+ word review of what you read. You know, to prove to your fellow readers that you actually did it.

Finally, the last thing I would change about NaNoWriMo if I had the power to do so would be the name. I would rename National Novel Writing Month to be International Novel Month - abbreviated INM and pronounced "In Me". This has a number of improvements. First of all, the abbreviation is easier to type. You can use just hold the left shift down the entire time, type with the other hand(Middle-Index-Middle), and then let go of the shift key. 5 steps only instead of 17. Also, Saying it requires fewer syllables, 2 instead of 4. The name also lends flexibility. Whether the competition is a writer's or reader's competition, the name still makes sense. Finally, it reflects the fact that it's international not just national.

Anyways, if this post convinces just one person to skip participating in NaNoWriMo and instead work on their blog or plotting out a good novel, then my goal will have been accomplished. I know I'm probably on the other side of popular opinion so, please, feel free to flame away in the comments.